OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
