epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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