it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
