That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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