Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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