so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize