Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
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