she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Is it because I queefed?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
