I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
