you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
