So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
