I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
