nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
