we have officially lost it.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
