Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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