I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
