i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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