we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
