I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
