I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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