You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
