Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
