he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
