The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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