Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
