Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize