So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
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In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
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Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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