I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
