that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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