I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Randomize
