why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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