It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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