Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Randomize
