he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
