Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
