A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
