apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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