Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
