i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
