I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
