Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
