Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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