Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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