That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
