rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
