butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
