and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
