so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
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living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
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Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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