a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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