Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
