the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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