At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
