I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
