Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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