Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
