Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
