hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
