I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
