I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
