hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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