i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
