hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
