what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
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He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
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If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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