So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
