first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
