i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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