I want you more than these girls want KFC
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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