Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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