worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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