billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
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