i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Randomize
