There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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