If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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